Ants in the Pants
John 20:19-31
19When it was evening on that day, the first day of the
week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were
locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said,
“Peace be with you.” 20After he said this,
he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced
when they saw the Lord. 21Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the
Father has sent me, so I send you.” 22When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to
them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them;
if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” 24But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the
twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the
Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in
his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in
his side, I will not believe.”
26A week later his disciples were again in the house, and
Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and
stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 27Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see
my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but
believe.” 28Thomas answered him,
“My Lord and my God!” 29Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you
have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to
believe.” 30Now Jesus did many
other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in
this book. 31But these are
written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the
Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. John 20:19-31
They should have been
happy. It was Easter after
all! Just that morning, Peter and the beloved disciple had seen the
empty tomb. The beloved
disciple had looked into the tomb and believed, but just what he had
believed I’m not sure since the scripture says he still didn’t
understand that Jesus had risen from the dead.
Mary, too, had seen the empty tomb. In fact, she had a rather
remarkable story that she kept babbling to everyone. She claimed that she had seen
him. Not only seen him,
but she had touched him! According
to her story, she had
stood in the garden that morning and grabbed hold of Jesus until he
told her that she shouldn’t cling to him. All day long, she hysterically
repeated her story, but none of them really believed her. After all they had very good
evidence that he was dead. They’d
seen him crucified and buried.
So they huddled together in that room where they had last spent
time with Jesus. All of
the remaining disciples were there.
Well, all of them except Thomas, who had never been one to
follow the crowd. I suspect that Thomas was off by himself
thinking—which Thomas was wont to do.
Off by himself trying to make sense of all that happened.
I suspect also that many
others were in that room—many of those nameless, faceless disciples
that had followed Jesus until Thursday night. It was really quite an eclectic
group of folks—tax collectors, prostitutes, Pharisees, fishermen. They didn’t have much in
common—except broken hearts and fear.
Fear of the Jewish authorities.
Fear of what would happen next.
Fear of what had happened to Jesus’ body.
And some of them were
probably even slightly afraid that Jesus really was alive. After all, they had already
proven what wimps they were! They
had broken all their many promises.
“Yes, Jesus, we can drink from your cup! No, Jesus, we would never deny
you.” What fools and
cowards they had been! And
so on top of all their other emotions, they added a large dose of
guilt. If he was alive,
they would never have the right to approach him.
So they sat there with
the blinds drawn tight and the doors bolted. It was dark and dreary and you
could feel the anxiety in the air.
They huddled in that room:
hurt, scared, and anxious with only a glimmer of hope.
Then suddenly, Jesus
appeared in the midst of them: “Peace
be with you.”
Now finally they
understood what Mary had been trying to tell them! This guy really did look like
Jesus! They were sure that
in the early morning light, she must have really thought it was Jesus.
Then he held out his
hands and pulled back his robe and they knew . . . It was really
Jesus. The whole gamut of emotions rushed through them—fear, joy,
amazement—you name it, they felt it.
Jesus breathed on them.
And just as when the wind of God had blown across the waters at the
beginning of creation, Jesus’ breath blew through the room clearing
the air of all the anxiety, the fear, the blame, and the guilt.
Just as God had first
breathed life into the lifeless lump of clay that was Adam, Jesus
breathed life back into those lifeless disciples. They must have felt a bit like
they were coming out a drugged sleep.
The warmth slowly crept through their bodies. Their minds suddenly became
alert. In that moment,
they realized that not only was Jesus still alive, but they were too!
I know of a similar
scene. A group of women
sat in a local office. They
were a rather eclectic group: mothers,
engineers, nurses, students. They
shared very little in common except for childhoods marked by abuse. They were hurt, scared, and
anxious with only a glimmer of hope.
If you had asked any one
of them what they thought about God, they would have told you that
they weren’t too sure anymore.
They’d heard the
remarkable stories. Others
had babbled to them that Jesus was alive, but they weren’t too sure
that they believed. In
fact, they had pretty good evidence that he wasn’t alive. In their minds, they had seen
Jesus crucified and buried years before, when they had called out to
him to protect them and he hadn’t appeared.
They were pretty sure
that he was dead. Yet, for
some reason they couldn’t explain, they continued to go to church
where they heard stories of his life and activity in the world. Some of them had even glimpsed
him—or at least they thought they had.
Yet, their fear, their anxiety, and their pain made it
difficult for them to believe. And
so on top of all their other emotions, they added a large dose of
guilt—guilt because they believed that doubt was sinful.
It’s really amazing
that they didn’t give up. It
is a miracle that they didn’t scatter to the four winds. Something kept them in that
room together waiting. Like
those disciples long ago, they sat together unbelieving yet strangely
hoping, searching together for evidence that they could see with their
own eyes.
Like
Thomas, they wouldn’t take anyone else’s word for it; they had to
see it for themselves!
That’s
why I have always had a soft spot for Thomas. I love all the wonderful
stories of Peter, because he messed up again and again and still kept
going. I love Peter for
his failings. But Thomas
is my hero.
Oh, I
know we call him “Doubting Thomas,” but I’ve never thought that
was a fair description of Thomas at all.
Looking
back over the references to Thomas in scripture, it becomes very clear
that he was the one disciple that said what everyone else was
thinking. Like the little
boy in the Hans Christian Anderson’s fairy tale about the
Emperor’s New Clothes, who had the integrity to say that the emperor
did not have on any clothing, Thomas spoke the truth—even if it
wasn’t considered “appropriate.”
For
instance, when Jesus told the disciples that he was going to prepare a
place for them and that they knew where it was. Thomas was the only one willing
to speak up and ask the obvious question, “Lord, we don’t know the
way to the place where you are going.
How can we know the way?”
A question that lead to one of the beautiful passages in
scripture, “I am the way, the truth and the life.”
Then
Thomas has the gumption to stand in the midst of them and ask for the
very thing the rest of them had needed to believe. “Unless I see the marks of the
nails, put my finger in them and place my hand in his side, I will not
believe.”
No
pretense—just honesty!
Thomas was thinking man
after all. One of those
analytical folks that wanted to know all the facts before they make a
judgment. In fact, I often
think he should be the patron saint of engineers, scientists, and
Missourians! Thomas
knew for sure that Jesus was dead and buried. He’d seen that for himself. So he was a bit skeptical when
all the other disciples told him they’d seen Jesus.
But you know what—they
sure didn’t act like they’d seen Jesus. They claimed that his
presence had brought them peace and a feeling of being born again. Yet
here it was a week later and they were still sitting up in that same
room with the blinds drawn and the door pulled shut.
They sure didn’t act
like people who had seen the risen Christ!
Personally, I don’t
think Thomas was out of line asking to see further proof. After all, none of the other
disciples had believed without seeing!
And Jesus must not have blamed Thomas either, because soon
there after he appeared again.
“Peace be with you. Shalom.”
Then he turned to Thomas.
“Here—see my wounds. Put your finger here in the
marks. Feel free to place
your hand in my side.”
“Thomas, do not doubt
anymore, but believe.”
When Thomas heard his
voice and saw his wounds, he suddenly lost his need to reach out and
touch them because he knew. Like
Job, he could have declared, “I had heard of you by the hearing of
the ear, but now my eyes see you.”
Instead he simply said, “My Lord
and my God!”
In
that moment, Thomas needed no further evidence. So Jesus said to him,
“You have believed because you have seen. Blessed are those who have not
seen and yet have come to believe.”
Author
and preacher Fredrick Buechner says that “Doubts are the ants in the
pants of faith. They keep
it awake and moving.” Doubt
is not the opposite of faith. In
fact, it is often in those moments when we most doubt God’s presence
that our faith becomes the strongest.
The New
Revised Standard version of the Bible translates Jesus’ words to
Thomas as “Do not doubt, but believe” but a better translation is
“Do not be unbelieving anymore, but believe.” Questions and doubts are part
and parcel of faith and often lead to a stronger, more mature faith. Perhaps that is why Thomas was
the first disciple to proclaim, “My Lord and My God.”
The
problem is not really when we question or doubt, but when we refuse to
believe.
“Do not be unbelieving but believe.”
Unlike Thomas and the other disciples in the Upper Room, those
women never saw Jesus mysteriously appear in that office. Jesus never
stood before them and said, “See my hands. Touch my wounds. You aren’t alone. I know how you feel. I’ve been beaten. I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been humiliated. I’ve felt abandoned by God. Touch my wounds and know that I
do understand.”
For months, they sat together in that room asking questions and
expressing their doubts. And
while Jesus never appeared, those women were the recipients of a
special blessing as their very doubts and questions taught them to be
believers rather than unbelievers.
The discomfort of their doubts led to a faith that was wide
awake and alive.
You see, while Jesus did not ever suddenly appear it that room,
others did. Other
people who where so certain that Jesus was alive and active in the
world that they were willing to open their locked doors, share their
own doubts and questions as well as their faith, and let those women
touch their own wounds. And
as they women tentatively reached out to touch the wounds, those
wounded disciples shared their hope and their experience of the risen
Christ.
Through the actions and words of these wounded disciples, Jesus
somehow did appear to those women.
Through the actions and words of these people who came in Jesus
name, the women heard the promise of Jesus’ presence and his words
of forgiveness. Through
their presence, Jesus breathed on those women and they came to know
that not only was Jesus alive—but they were too!
Which leads to what I
think is the final and most perhaps important lesson in this
Scripture.
Jesus
said, “Peace be with you. As
my Father has sent me, so I send you. . . . If you forgive the sins of
any, they are forgiven. If
you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
If
we—the church—don’t tell others about Jesus. If we don’t go into this
hurting world and share what we know about Christ, we leave them
disbelieving and without hope and without the knowledge of God’s
forgiveness.
If we
stay locked up in our little upper room talking about the resurrected
Christ and are unwilling to go outside our doors and share the good
news, we are disobeying
Jesus’ command to go and tell. When
we lock the doors and pull the blinds on our lives, we leave people
stuck in their questions, their doubts, and their sins and unable to
see Christ.
The writer of the Gospel of John said, “Now Jesus did
many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not
written in this book. But
these are written that you may come to believe that
Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in his
name you may have life—life abundant.”
Do not be
disbelieving—but believe—and go and share what Jesus has done for
you to a world that needs to hear the good news. You don’t have to have all
the answers. You don’t
have to be without doubts. Just
go and share what you have experienced of Jesus Christ so that others
will know that Christ lives!
Peace
be with you. As our Father
sent Jesus, so Jesus now sends you!
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